| I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my
knob |
| I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put
his foot in the hole in his back passage |
| ...and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
fence |
| I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off |
| My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I
stand |
| I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the
wall |
| Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is
pregnant |
| We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the
house |
| I request permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen |
| ...50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain
filthy |
| I am still having problems with smoke in my new
drawers |
| The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared |
| Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and
not fit to drink |
| Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces |
| Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner
and need it badly |
| I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for
me |
| The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and
dangerous |
| Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about
it |
| I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every
night |
| Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife |
| I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction |
| This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get
BBC2 |
| My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in
it |
| ... and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore |
| It's his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to
swallow |
