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  1. Your arse is never a factor in a job interview
  2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
  3. Your last name stays put
  4. The garage is all yours
  5. Wedding plans take care of themselves
  6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
  7. Car mechanics tell you the truth
  8. You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut
  9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
  10. Wrinkles add character
  11. A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished
  12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments
  13. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
  14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
  15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
  16. Porn movies are designed with you in mind
  17. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them
  18. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
  19. You can appreciate great sport
  20. You can throw a ball more than 5 feet
  21. One mood, ALL the damn time.
  22. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase
  23. You can open all your own jars
  24. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind
  25. You can go to a public toilet without a support group
  26. You can leave a hotel bed unmade
  27. You can kill your own food
  28. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
  29. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend
  30. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices
  31. Everything on your face stays its original colour
  32. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat
  33. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
  34. You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming
  35. You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
  36. You don't mooch off other's desserts
  37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift
  38. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends
  39. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours
  40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
  41. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
  42. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
  43. You don't have to shave below your neck
  44. Your belly usually hides your big hips
  45. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
  46. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife
  47. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache
  48. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
  49. Same job... more pay
  50. The world is your urinal

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