- Your arse is never a factor in a job
interview
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put
- The garage is all yours
- Wedding plans take care of themselves
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth
- You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new
haircut
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
- Wrinkles add character
- A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
tarnished
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to
them
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
feet
- Porn movies are designed with you in
mind
- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with
them
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with
"So, notice anything different?"
- You can appreciate great sport
- You can throw a ball more than 5 feet
- One mood, ALL the damn time.
- A five-day holiday requires only one
suitcase
- You can open all your own jars
- Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you
blind
- You can go to a public toilet without a support
group
- You can leave a hotel bed unmade
- You can kill your own food
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
friend
- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices
- Everything on your face stays its original
colour
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's
seat
- Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough
- You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is
coming
- You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours
without ever thinking "He must be mad at
me."
- You don't mooch off other's desserts
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little
gift
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
become lifelong friends
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five
colours
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades
- You don't have to shave below your neck
- Your belly usually hides your big hips
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
- You can "do" your nails with a
pocket-knife
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
moustache
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.
- Same job... more pay
- The world is your urinal
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