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MEN...
| Men are like vacations... they never seem to be long enough. |
| Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory. |
| Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere |
| Men are like chocolate bars... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. |
| Men are like coffee... The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long. |
| Men are like horoscopes... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. |
| Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom |
| Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. |
| Men are like laxatives... they irritate the shit out of you. |
| Men are like parking spots... the good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped |
| A man is like a snowstorm.... you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last. |
| What should you give a man who has
everything? A woman to show him how to work it. |
| How does a man show he's planning
for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. |
| What makes men chase women they
have no intention of marrying? The same urge that make dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. |
| Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half the time. |
| What's the difference between a
new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. |
| Why do men find it difficult to
make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. |
| What's the difference between men
and government bonds? Bonds mature. |
| How do you save a man from
drowning? Take your foot off his head. |
| How many men does it take to
change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know, it's never happened. |
| Why are men like tile floors? If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years. |
| What do you call a man with half a
brain? Gifted |
| Why is it hard for women to find
men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. |
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