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The sex was so good that even the neighbours had a cigarette
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing
I'm just driving this way to piss you off
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you
I took an IQ test and the results were negative
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you

1,000,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest??
Jesus loves you, the rest of us think you're an idiot
Forget world peace - visualize turning off your indicator!
Where there's a will...I want to be in it!
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I have the body of a God .......... Buddha
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me
If we quit voting will they all go away?
This bumper sticker exploits illiterates
Eat right, exercise, die anyway
Honk if anything falls off
I haven't lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit
He who laughs last thinks slowest

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